Single and Looking for "Love"?

Women often want relationships to be romantic, dramatic and intense like in the movies. The "falling in love" phase is idealized, and we look for a certain kind of attraction and passion when trying to find a partner. Unfortunately, this kind of "love" more closely resembles addiction than the start of a healthy relationship.

VIDEO:  The Brain in Love (16 min.) -  Did you know that the area of the brain that activates with romantic love is the same area that activates when experiencing the rush of cocaine?

Is this what "love" has looked like for you?

Extreme highs at the beginning of the relationship; extreme lows (sadness or anger) at the thought of losing it

Basing your life around the relationship and your partner

Extreme dependency or feelings of neediness

Obsessive thinking and fantasizing about the relationship/partner, especially in an idealized way

Obsessive texting, emails, online or phone communication when not together

Getting close and passing milestones very quickly: boyfriend/girlfriend titles, sleeping together, moving in, thinking he or she is “the one”

Idealizing your partner and/or the relationship; focusing on all of the positive traits and not seeing or accepting the bad

Compromising your values or changing who you are to fit with your partner

Flaking out on or giving up responsibilities, activities or people that used to be important to you; losing relationships with family and friends

 “You’re the best thing in my life” - using the relationship to escape (depression, boredom, loneliness, stress, bad job, lack of direction, financial difficulties etc.)

Realizing that, if you weren’t dating, your partner is not someone you would like or have as a friend

When your friends or family don’t like your partner, you get defensive and/or stop talking to them

Rationalizing or justifying the bad behavior or abuse from your partner

If you're in a relationship, you can get back on track for a healthy long-term partnership by working on your own stuff.

If you're single and wanting a long-term relationship, you can learn how to BE the person who has successful relationships, as well as select better partners, in order to create healthy relationships from the beginning.

Contact me to learn more.